A festive look adorns the Congress camp in Karnataka, even as the party awaits the results of the recently concluded assembly elections in Karnataka – a result that the party expects to go in its favour which will open the floodgates of praise for the Congress Vice President, Shri Rahul Gandhi. “I have been waiting for a long long time for this day! I can truly let myself go this time. The world will know tomorrow how much I adore Rahul Gandhi!” screamed a Congress worker.
A massive poster of Rahul Gandhi was being installed right in front of the Congress office in Bengaluru, with a tall stool reaching up to the yuvraj’s mouth. As this correspondent watched awestruck, an enormous three tier cake was wheeled in and placed near the poster.
An analytical team was seen poring over a district map of Karnataka, carefully marking out areas where Rahul Gandhi had campaigned. “We need to be ready with empirical evidence that Rahul Gandhi’s campaigning helped us sweep the polls,” a member gushed. When our correspondent pointed out the rather sparse marks on the map and queried why Rahul did not campaign in more areas, he said, “Well, it’s easier to claim that he campaigned at a place Congress wins as against denying that he ever visited a constituency where we lose. After Bihar, UP and Gujarat, we prefer a safety first approach.”
Congress leaders said it will be such a welcome change from the past when they had to manufacture ingenious explanations isolating Rahul from electoral routs in states like UP, Bihar and Gujarat. Another high powered team under the leadership of Manish Tewari was seen working on circuitous statements and punchy quotes on how Narendra Modi’s magic doesn’t work outside Gujarat. NDTV assured viewers they will display ‘blow to Modi’ on their ticker for the next 24 hours. Meanwhile, due to shortage of posters of the Nehru-Gandhi scion, TNYC workers said they will make do with posters of Rahul Dravid.
As the race begins for allotment of ministerial berths in Karnataka, competitive display of sycophancy is already underway. A would-be Congress MLA is reportedly in the process of procuring a country made pistol that he’ll point at himself the day of the results threatening to shoot himself if Rahul baba isn’t made the PM candidate soon. A few others were seen gulping glasses of salt water and gargling en masse outside the Congress office in Karnataka. “Gotta get our throats in shape for tomorrow. Hoping to shout ‘Rahul Gandhi for PM’ for two days non-stop!” beamed a worker, even as effigies of Dr. Manmohan Singh were brought in and dumped at a corner of the compound.