BCCI head honchos, IPL team owners, cricket fans and fellow cricketers may be frothing at the mouth at the alleged shenanigans of Sreesanth but none more so than Misbah-ul-Haq. The Pakistani cricketer maintains that Sreesanth is guilty of a far bigger crime against not just the cricketing fraternity but entire humankind: that of taking his catch at short fine leg off the last ball of the 2007 T-20 World Cup finals and winning the cup for India, thereby paving the way for BCCI to unleash IPL on the rest of the world.
“Imagine how different the world might have been if he had spilled it,” said an emotional Misbah. “We would still have had suicide bombings, terrorist attacks, corruption scandals….but we would perhaps not have had this Frankenstein Monster called the IPL to deal with and the world would have been a better place to live in,” he said, before bursting into tears as he recollected that fateful final over.
Mrs. Haq chimed in adding that her husband is yet to recover from that trauma. “Every time Shastri bhai’s voice booms ‘and that’s taken the aerial route’ after yet another ugly slog, Misbah starts banging his head in frustration, muttering, ‘if only I hadn’t played that paddle scoop and Sreesanth hadn’t snapped it up.’,” disclosed Misbah’s wife. Misbah’s plea has resonated with many politicians as well, especially those on the Left. “Sreesanth should also be prosecuted for his sinful role in conceiving this vulgar orgy that is the IPL,” thundered CPIM’s Basudev Acharia.
In related news, Delhi police also nabbed CSK’s Sir Ravindra Jadeja for match-fixing but let him off after it transpired that he was merely colluding with fate. After accidentally tapping into a frequency beyond the electro-magnetic spectrum, Delhi’s cyber cell stumbled onto a conversation between Sir and someone called Destiny. “Armed with that evidence, we decided to confront him for questioning only to find him flirting with Lady Luck when we barged into his hotel room,” said an awestruck Neeraj Kumar.
Sir Jadeja has laughed off the incident. “As far as I know, colluding with fate to fix match outcomes is not illegal under the Indian Penal Code or any other man made laws,” said the Saurashtrian all-rounder.