It is that time of the year when the nation awaits with bated breath The Unreal Times powerless list: a compilation of the India’s most powerless and meek people. By surveying and profiling crores of households across the length and breadth of India, from the blazing deserts of Kutch to the hills of Kohima, the verdant vales of Kashmir to the crags of Kanyakumari, The Unreal Times left no stone unturned in zeroing in on India’s low and meek from different walks of life, whether it be casual labour, petty self employment, sports, politics, or administration. Here are India’s four least powerful people:
4. Simon Marandi, 42, Tribal from Bastar
Simon Marandi, a 42 year old unemployed tribal from Bastar, clocked in as India’s fourth most powerless person, beating one million other people sharing a similar socio-economic profile. Illiterate and living in an area ravaged by Maoism and poor public infrastructure, the guy struggles to earn two square meals a day.
Bad hair day: When he fails to get his promised share of PDS grain on consecutive days from his neighborhood FPS and also gets manhandled by security forces.
Food for thought: When there is not enough food for the body, there is no question of getting food for thought.
Favourite entertainment: UPA II’s Bharat Nirman ads. “They are on par with Bollywood fare in transporting us to a la-la land of fantasy, at least for a few moments. Full marks for creativity, man,” Simon says.
Favorite holiday destination: Indravati Wildlife Sanctuary
Occasional hangout buddy: Claims to have spent a night with Rahul Gandhi who cold called on him during his foray into these parts 4 summers ago
3. Ashok Dinda, 26, Cricketer
Ashok Dinda easily outscored others in our ranking index to come in as India’s third least powerful man. Landless labourers are weak but not as weak and powerless as India’s fast bowlers, toiling away in the sweltering heat on dead pitches, where even the likes of Dale Steyn and 7 foot something West Indian giants struggle. And Dinda leads the pack in powerlessness. Even spotfixers don’t dare approach him because there is no way to predict how many runs a Dinda over can cost.
Bad hair day: When he conceded 63 runs in 4 overs, the most expensive four over spell in IPL’s history.
Occasional soul mates: RP Singh, Nehra and Manpreet Gony
Little known fact: Dinda puts everything into his leap in his delivery stride because he knows it’s only downhill after that.
2. Ranjit Sinha, 56, CBI Director
Memorably described as a ‘caged parrot with many masters’ by the Supreme Court, his sub-human existence propels him to number 2 on the most powerless list.
Bad hair day: When both Mulayam and Mayawati threaten to withdraw support, forcing the CBI director to put in 18 hour work-shifts.
Vulnerable moment: World Willd Life Fund put him on the ‘threatened list’ after his organization raided the then Railway Minister, Pawan Kumar Bansal’s nephew.
Favorite holiday destination: Parakeets section of Delhi Zoo
Worst day of career: When he was taunted for his poor English.
1. Manmohan Singh, 81, Prime Minister of India
Once again, for a record 9th consecutive time, Dr. Mamohan Singh heads the list, consolidating his grip as India’s most meek, voiceless, and powerless person. What is even more amazing is that Dr. Singh’s authority and clout has been steadily eroding year after year, ensuring that he is miles ahead of the crores of impoverished Indians at the bottom of the pecking order.
Bad hair day: The Prime Minister’s powerlessness graph hit a new low when even the office clerk pinched stationery from the PMO right under the Prime Minister’s eyes.
Networking moment: When prominent NGO, Voice for Voiceless Welfare Trust, took up his cause with the government.
Favourite expression: ‘theek hai?’
Favourite holiday destination: Anywhere outside India attending to ceremonial duties as India’s Prime Minister