Ever since the CBI has reliably learnt from its investigation into the Ishrat Jahan fake encounter case about the involvement of a particular ‘safed dadhi’ (white beard) and ‘kaali dadhi’ (black beard), the investigative agency has gone out on a limb and listed a number of possible combinations of white bearded and black bearded gentlemen to analyze, investigate and clear them one by one thereby zeroing in on the suspects. We are proud to announce that The UnReal Times is the first agency (after NDTV, of course) to be provided direct access to CBI records, snippets of which we reproduce here:
As the PR arm of the establishment, NDTV is naturally above suspicion, but since this is the first pair we could think of when we heard the safed dadhi kaali dadhi statement, we had to put it in our list…
The two most powerful men of the cricketing establishment have frequently spoken about eliminating a particular Ish. We suspect that it may be Ishant Sharma, but until BCCI confirms that, these two stay in the list.
The Bollywood father-son duo of Big B and Aishwarya’s insignificant other are also on the radar screen of the premier investigation agency, not in the least because their conversations often pan out along the following lines:
White beard: When is the next hit expected?
Black beard: No Idea
White beard: Aaargh.. I hope you realize that they have also dumped you as their brand ambassador
(sounds of a lady giggling in the background)
We cannot rule out the possibility that the black beard might just a future Prime Minister in conversation with the current Prime Minister…(However, all their conversations were monologues with black-beard shooting off rhetorical questions and white-beard saying ‘theek hai’ towards the end)
…or an expectant child in conversation with his favourite good samaritan.
The commentary team of Sidhu and Raja could also find themselves in the dock, with the CBI suspecting two people who get paid to say stuff which makes no sense most of the time must be a smokescreen for something more sinister.
Between them, this black beard and white beard have eliminated a number of orcs innocent beings, and are thereby on the suspect list…
…as are these two, for the sheer volume and bounce in their respective white and black beards.
It may turn out that the so called black beard and white beard might just be this chap talking to himself…
And finally, we don’t rule out this possibility either.
