Countering fire with fire, the Congress has announced its own series of rallies featuring Dr. Manmohan Singh, for which Rs. 5 per head will be charged. These rallies have been branded as the “Vipasna with Dr. Manmohan Singh” series, where the paying public can meditate in a tranquil environment, bereft of the usual cacophony and raucous rhetoric that accompanies a mass election rally.
The first such session in Delhi’s Ram Leela grounds was a big hit with customers saying that it was absolutely worth not hearing Dr. Manmohan Singh say anything. “He started his speech by reeling off some statistics on GDP growth and the current account deficit and soon people started dozing off,” raved Ram Kalia, one of those present. “After a few minutes, Dr. Singh then got down from the podium and assumed a meditative pose. It was surreal – Dr. Singh, stony faced, statue like, doing the padmasana with over a lakh people staring right back at him, the pin drop silence occasionally punctuated by the cawing of crows or the odd barking of a stray dog.” The hour long meditation session ended with Dr. Singh whispering “theek hai” after which the crowd dispersed in an orderly manner.
Buoyed by the success of Dr. Singh’s inaugural rally, the Congress plans to now project Dr. Singh as its star campaigner and beat Narendra Modi at his own game. “Who better than Dr. Singh to drive home the message that this government has achieved nothing in its second term? Indeed, he is our star campaigner,” raved Diggy, making sense for once.
Another Congress veteran said that deploying Dr. Singh for campaigning could be an even bigger game-changer than direct cash transfers or the food security ordinance. “And while I am reeling off vapid clichés, let me also say that this is just what the doctor ordered,” he added, grinning sheepishly.