The air-force has been called in to airlift lakhs of stranded commuters after a gentle drizzle during evening rush hour over many parts of New Delhi brought traffic to a standstill. As soon as the showers began around 5PM, roadside drains, choked with plastic debris, began to overflow and arterial roads, replete with potholes, transformed into swollen rivers, causing massive traffic jams in several parts of the city including Kashmere Gate, Dhaula Kuan, Moolchand, and Munirka.
With no prospect of traffic moving, the air-force has pressed over a dozen MI-17 choppers into service, flying non-stop sorties to lift stranded commuters and dropping them at their residences. A special batch of Garud commandos are complementing the rescue efforts on the ground by directing the young to get out of their vehicles and wade through the waterlogged roads to safety. Food packets are have been dropped in pockets where traffic is moving at a glacial pace to provide much needed succour to hapless vehicle owners.
“So far we have managed to air lift 4000 passengers from their work locations and dropped them to their residences. We will not rest until remaining commuters are rescued,” assured Air Chief AK Browne. “The good thing is that, unlike Uttarakhand, weather is not an issue here apart from the polluted air which is chronic to these parts. Fortunately, Delhi just gets a few light showers, unlike, say, Mumbai. Just that the roads and drains are in such a bad shape that even these light wet spells are sufficient to cause massive traffic congestion,” he observed.
The situation is so bad that even Narendra Modi has expressed his inability to lend a hand. “I spent the whole of last night brainstorming with my IAS officers over rescuing Gujarati office-goers stranded near CP but concluded that it is impossible. Forget Rambo, even Superman can’t do anything during a rain induced Delhi traffic jam,” he told The UnReal Times.
Civic authorities are praying that it does not rain again during rush how the following day. “The city can just about take one shower a week during rush hour. Two consecutive showers would be a catastrophe of Biblical proportions. Our garbage filled drains just can’t handle that much load,” said an extremely worried Delhi Municipal Council Chairman, Anurag Mathur.
In related news, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and UPA chairperson Sonia Gandhi made an aerial survey of the serpentine traffic queues across the city’s roads. Dr. Singh later recorded the following statement for the cameras: “The need of the hour is to get the traffic moving again so that people can get back home and back to work the next day. Theek hai?”
However, Rahul Gandhi, currently vacationing somewhere in the Alps, has been asked to stay put. “With even the New Delhi airport terminal flooded it will be impossible to ferry him back to 10, Janpath after he lands in the national capital,” said a high-ranking official.