Dear Readers,
Hope 2013 was as good for you as it was for us. We had a great time mocking, spoofing and satirizing the various events in politics, governance, sports and showbiz, hopefully in a clean and sensitive manner. Here are the top 10 most read articles on The UnReal Times in 2013.
Cheers and a very happy new year!
The UnReal Team
(The count down follows. Click on the title to go to the article)
Number 10: In pictures: The story behind Rahul Gandhi’s “ordinance is nonsense” remark
Congress vice president Rahul Gandhi stunned the nation and his party alike with his explosive outburst at the Press Club, where he termed the ordinance to protect convicted legislators as “nonsense” and demanded that it be torn and thrown away, in the process humiliating and undermining the Prime Minister and his Cabinet. What led Rahul to do so?
Read the rest here.
Number 9: Raghuram Rajan’s handsomeness averts India’s economic crisis
In August, 2013, the UPA government appointed a new RBI governor, the dashing Raghuram Rajan. The media went crazy, as did one half of the population. And a serious economic crisis was averted.
In a stunning development that has left behavioral economists across the world awe-struck, the handsomeness of Raghuram Rajan, the incoming RBI governor, has decisively averted India’s economic crisis….. Women took to the social media to express their feelings for Dr.Rajan, posting comments on Twitter and Facebook such as ‘He is so cute ya’, ‘I am tellin u..its his eyes..they are so dreamy’, ‘I jus luvz his skin..not 2 dark, not 2 lite, jus purrrfect’, ‘I love his slightly scruffy rebellious hair’ etc…. Every pronouncement of his was seized and acted upon with messianic zeal. First, they went after gold imports – Housewives resolved not to stock up on gold, young girls refused to accept gold jewellery from boyfriends, inflation-indexed bonds replaced gold as dowry. Consequently, gold imports this quarter are expected to decline by 35% over the same period last year.
Read the rest here.
Number 8: In pictures: Captain Vijayakanth’s answer to Van Damme’s Volvo ad epic split feat
Jean-Claude Van Damme’s epic split feat to demonstrate the stability and precision of Volvo Dynamic Steering has gone viral, once again underscoring the Belgian martial artist cum superstar’s suppleness and flexibility. However, our very own Captain Vijayakanth has done one better…
Read the rest here.
Number 7: In pictures: The inside story behind the banning of Kamal Haasan’s Vishwaroopam
Actor Kamal Haasan’s magnum opus “Vishwaroopam” was banned by the Tamil Nadu government in January 2013, due to content allegedly offensive to certain groups. The movie’s release was then stayed by the Madras High Court after a series of flip-flops. What led to such circumstances?
Read the rest here.
In his independence day speech, Gujarat CM Narendra Modi threw down the gauntlet at Dr. Manmohan Singh by challenging him to a public debate on governance. The UPA leadership went scurrying for cover, but Dr. Singh decided to respond to the challenge. Find out how.
Read the rest here.
Number 5: Arnab Goswami forgets wedding anniversary; wife outraged
Arnab forgets his wedding anniversary. Mrs. Goswami isn’t amused. A snippet…
Wife: Mr. Goswami, can you see the images playing in the studio? What does this remind you of Mr. Goswami? Because the nation demands an answer, Mr. Goswami.
Arnab (mutters unders his breath): Oh shit, marr gaya (walks to his wife with outstretched arms) Happy Anniversary darling!
Wife (pushes him away): It is 20 hours too late, Mr. Goswami. Why the delay in action, Mr. Goswami? (Turns away from Arnab to look straight ahead) Viewers must know that Times Now was the first to report on this.(turns back to Arnab) Women of this country are counting on husbands like you. What sort of confidence do you give to the women of this country, Mr. Goswami?
Read the rest here.
Number 4: In pictures: The real story behind DMK’s withdrawal of support to the UPA government
DMK chief M Karunanidhi may have withdrawn support to the UPA government citing the government’s lack of action on the Sri Lankan Tamils issue. But when our special correspondent Atul Baskarbe snooped around a bit, he discovered that the real story is something else altogether.
Read the rest here.
Number 3: In pictures: The fallout of Narendra Modi’s “Hindu Nationalist” remark
In his explosive interview to Reuters, Narendra Modi described himself as a ‘born Hindu’ and a ‘nationalist’, and therefore a ‘Hindu nationalist’. Not surprisingly, the comments kicked up a storm across the polity – ‘secular’ parties geared up to roundly bash the Gujarat CM, while BJP representatives braced themselves for a barrage of questions on prime-time Television. Atul Baskarbe once again brings the UnReal version of the story in pictures.
Read the rest here.
Number 2: Future legend Virat Kohli’s emotional speech when he retires after 18 years
The God of Cricket, Sachin Tendulkar, retired this year, and gave a moving farewell speech. Our columnist imagined Virat giving his farewell speech at the time of his retirement sometime in the future. A few snippets:
Thank you, Ravi. All my friends and foes, settle down, I will get more and more aggressive talking.. (crowd cheers louder. This frustrates Kohli). I said shut the f**k up! (Crowd immediately goes silent)I’d like to thank a few people who stood by me all these years, supported me, understood that it’s just the way I am, every time I showed the middle-finger and gracefully moved on. I’ve created a list also (he chuckles), but if I forget someone, please understand that it IS deliberate, intentional and you deserve to be ignored.
Read the rest here.
Number 1: Nation writes a letter to Arnab Goswami, says it never demanded any answers
Popular news anchor Arnab Goswami was rendered speechless for a good 30 nanoseconds (the highest record till date) after he received a letter signed by The Nation in which she clarified that she has never demanded any answers and urged Arnab to desist from doing so in her name.
Dear Mr. Goswami,
Hope you and your vocal cords are fine. You must be wondering why on earth I would write a letter to you.
I want to categorically state through this letter that I do not demand as many answers as you claim during prime time day in and day out. Indeed, if I were to really start demanding answers to the multitude of issues that my 1.2 billion citizens have to grapple with, I would face a heart-attack and collapse.
Read the rest here.