According to news reports, giving your house a blue coat of paint in Mamata Banerjee’s West Bengal will now get you a property tax waiver. The Unreal Times’ Kolkata correspondent, Nakamuka Gandhopadhyay, tapped his sources in the government and learnt that this is just the first of many such interventions by Didi. Bengalis may expect the following 12 changes soon!
The “Red” light will soon be phased out from traffic signals. Red Light areas will now be referred to as Blue Light areas (although there will not be any official notice on this)
via pixabay.com
Eveready batteries are expected to look like this, failing which they’ll get banned from West Bengal
via kada.in
Cultivation of red chillies will be banned. The government is expected to announce zero interest loans to farmers who cultivate blue chillies…
via indiatoday.com
…and blue tomatoes…
via indiatoday.com
…and to agro processing companies who make blue tomato sauce out of these tomatoes.
via bigshopin.com
Should West Bengal host its own version of the Cannes festival, Aishwarya Rai would be expected to wear Didi’s favourite colour on her lips.
via indiatoday.com
Primary school syllabus will be altered to reflect the administration’s preferences. Children will now read in English textbooks about Blue Riding Hood and her adventures…
via wikipedia.org
…and about the Blue Sea in Geography.
via egyptvoyager.com
Brinda Karat will not be allowed into West Bengal unless she does this.
via indiatoday.com
Veteran BJP leader Lal Krishna Advani too would be allowed into West Bengal only if he alters his name.
via indiatoday.com
As will Jaganmohan Reddy.
via indiatoday.com
Finally, hospitals and blood banks that stock and use blue blood for blood transfusions will get tax breaks.
via dailymail.co.uk
Postscript: An hour after this article was published, we received an email from the TMC government that The Unreal Times would be banned in West Bengal unless we change our home page to this:
(With inputs from Ashwin)
(Why did Didi lose her temper with Derek O’Brien in a McDonald’s joint? Find out in our bestseller, Unreal Elections)