Image via Indiatoday.com
A Dalit contingent made an unannounced visit to Rahul Gandhi’s residence to console him over Spain’s second successive defeat and inglorious exit from the World Cup. “It was the least we do could do for him considering he’s tried so hard to empathize with us, yaa. After the defending champions’ loss to Chile, we thought here is a great chance to pay him back in the same coin by having dal-chawal at his house for a change,” said contingent leader and catalyst of the surprise visit, Kalavathy, who has hosted Rahul on innumerable occasions at her residence and is considered a pro at this sort of thing.
Kalavathy scotched rumours that a contingent had also visited 10, Janpath after the 2014 General Elections results. “Those were just fictitious reports. We had offered to visit but Rahul baba’s aide, Kanishka, had assured us that Rahul was in very high spirits then, a bit like a kid who is staring at months of vacation. But Spain’s elimination is a true debacle. Spain was like second home to him, you know. He would excitedly talk about how great Spain’s night clubs were and that rural India has so much catching up to do during his dal-chawal visits to our houses,” Kalavathy reminisced. She also expressed confidence that the meeting will go well. “It’s a simple drill, if you think about it. We ask a few questions, one of us takes notes as he speaks, then some more small talk before we proceed to have lunch.”
In related news, the Congress high command has directed that celebrations of Rahul Gandhi’s 44th birthday celebrations be toned down. “We were planning to parade our 44 Lok Sabha MPs in candle light costumes which Rahul could blow but madam has nixed the plan. Rahul now wants to spend the entire day in the company of Dr Manmohan Singh in complete silence. So we’ll confine ourselves to merely feeding his poster,” a mournful Mallikarjun Kharge disclosed.