Scotland’s pro-independence movement that suffered a setback after a majority of the Scots voted ‘No’ in the Scottish independence referendum on Friday, received a major boost today when Telangana CM K Chandrashekar Rao threw in his lot with the separatists.
“After the disappointment of the referendum, this is just what our movement needed,” exclaimed Alex Salmond. “KCR sir has told us that the referendum is merely the start of a long hard struggle to create a separate state. We’ll now move on to more important measures such as going on a hunger strike for 25 days, and driving out non-Scots from Scotland.”
Later, KCR himself got into the act, lambasting Westminister and the British media for attempting to denigrate Scottish culture. Sporting a traditional Scottish kilt, KCR hollered, “I am ready to bear any personal insult. But I will not tolerate if anyone shows Scotland and its culture in poor light. If anyone dares to do so, I’ll bury them 10 km deep in the ground,” and wagged his forefinger at a group of cowering British journalists.
Meanwhile, the Unionists have reacted quickly to the developments. “Once bitten twice shy. We are taking this very seriously this time. The guy calls himself Hitler, for God’s sake!” said an official from the Prime Minister’s Office. “So yeah, we are seeking external help as well. He’ll be flying in later today. You’ll see,” the official added with a twinkle in his eye.
Hours later, a grinning Rahul Gandhi stepped out of a private jet that pulled into Glasgow airport, waved enthusiastically at a gaggle of Scottish onlookers and cried, “Scotland mein whisky kaun laya!”