Image via thenewsminute.com
After tying up with Huffington Post to facilitate its entry into India, the Times Group is all set to ink a deal with American men’s lifestyle magazine, Playboy. The deal will combine Times Group’s unrivalled expertise in titillating readers with Playboy’s local knowledge and help Times Group penetrate the American market.
Announcing the deal, a hyper excited Playboy founder Hugh Hefner said he feels honoured to be working with the masters. “We invented this genre but these guys have taken it to the next level. We are so excited to combine ToI’s world class offerings in the realm of men’s entertainment with our modest local knowledge to tailor a whole new experience for American readers.” Under the deal, Times Group will launch city supplements such as New York Times, Chicago Times, Boston Times to give Americans a good time. The Times Group for its part has expressed glee at the giddy prospect of laying it’s hands on fresh American material – leaked nude photos, glimpses of wardrobe malfunctions, sunbathing pics, putty in the hands of ToI staffers, especially the caption writers.
The deal has struck panic in Hollywood with many divas shuddering over what life under the gaze of the ToI caption writer holds for them. “Oh dear, if it wasn’t bad enough that my nude photos on the iCloud have been hacked and leaked,” Hunger Games star Jennifer Lawrence wailed, “now I’ll have to deal with the prospect of ToI journos captioning them as well. LIFE IS A BITCH.”
The Hollywood Divas Welfare association has advised actresses to stay calm over the impending ToI storm. “Under no circumstances, should you tweet emotionally and angrily about their lousy captioning of pics of your cleavage, even if you have a movie releasing over the weekend. That will invite more trouble for you,” Association President Kate Winslet posted on the sorority’s Facebook page. “I repeat, don’t cross swords with ToI folks.”
Kim Kardashian has retired from showbiz following the ToI-Playboy deal. “One must know when one’s time is up,” was the American reality star’s only comment.