Image via bbc.com
North Korea’s ruling military clique has tapped BJP President Amit Shah to help them trace the whereabouts of supreme leader Kim Jong-un. The cherubic Kim has been missing from public view for the last 38 days, prompting a flurry of speculation ranging from a potential palace coup to poor health keeping the supreme leader out of action.
The military junta has refuted allegations of a political coup, insisting that they are just as clueless as the rest of the world about their leader’s whereabouts. “Rumours of a coup are baseless. We are as loyal to him as AIADMK cadre are towards Amma. The truth is we also have no idea where Kim sir is, given his penchant for secrecy and opacity. The only information we have are the jokes floating on Twitter about him,” wailed General Chung-hong-Swoon.
Out of desperation, the military clique has decided to avail the services of BJP President Amit Shah. “We are told Amit bhai keeps tabs on everyone. We are hoping he can fill us in on the status of our beloved leader as well,” Kim aide General Chung-hong-Swoon said. “And by status update, we mean just a broad ‘he’s ok’ kind of heads up. We don’t want to pry into private details of our beloved leader.”
Amit Shah confirmed that he is in receipt of the request from the North Korean military junta. “I said yes even before General Chung-hong-Swoon could press the ‘send’ button,” chuckled Amit Shah. The BJP President however refused to divulge details about the whereabouts of Kim, citing saheb client confidentiality.
Though there has been no official reaction from the Congress party yet, Congress leader Shashi Tharoor was unsure on how to react to the issue. “Dude, on one hand, if I praise North Korea’s action, it’ll amount to praising Amit Shah, which is not acceptable with my party. On the other hand, if I don’t say anything, I will let go of an opportunity to highlight Shah’s snooping, which is again not acceptable per my party. Life sucks, man!” a disappointed Tharoor wailed to The UnReal Times.
(Theme and inputs by Ashwin)