Taking a leaf out of Rahul Gandhi’s book, Congress spokesperson Sanjay Jha has written to the Congress high command asking for a leave of absence to introspect on the direction the Congress party is taking. The UnReal Times has managed to get hold of a copy of the email sent to Congress President Sonia Gandhi:
Dear Soniaji,
Following the footsteps of my leader, mentor, hero and God, Rahul Gandhi, I too wish to go elsewhere to ponder over the future of the Congress party on primetime TV debates including the Newshour. I’ll be very grateful to you if you could kindly grant me leave for 2 weeks.
Yours sincerely,
Sanjay JhaPS: Please find enclosed invoice for my work undertaken over last month
The development has knocked the bejesus out of the nation’s noise voice, Arnab Goswami. “WHAT WILL THE NATION DO NOW!? THE NATION IS SCREWED!” Arnab was heard hollering, shattering window panes in a 5 km radius around Times Now office in Mumbai.
Arnab and Sanjay: Yin and Yang (Image via youtube.com)
Political and economy editor Navika Kumar said, “This really is bad news. Sanjay Jha is the yang to Arnab’s yin, the sleeve to Arnab’s shaft, the Jerry to Arnab’s Tom. There’s no Arnab without Sanjay Jha. There’s no Newshour without either of them.”
“But ma’am, couldn’t Sambit Patra step in for Jha?” this correspondent asked, to which Navika replied, “Well, for an episode or two, sure, but he has a long way to go before he can officially become the next Sanjay Jha. Patra is a novice. Jha is the finished article – he’s made defense of the indefensible an art form. That patronizing shake of his head as Arnab mounts his attacks, that classy 2002 redirect, that smug smile when he knows he’s confounded the debate once again… ahh… legend!” Navika sighed.
However, Sanjay Jha’s request, unlike Rahul’s, has been summarily rejected by the Congress high command. “Congress can exist without Rahul Gandhi, in fact, some may argue that we are better off without him around. But even Soniaji knows that we cannot survive even a day without Sanjay Jha,” confided a senior Congress leader on condition of anonymity.
(With inputs from Ashwin Kumar)