(Image via www.greaterkashmir.com)
Zaki-ur-Rehman Lakhvi, mastermind of the dastardly 26/11 Mumbai attacks, has written to Pakistan’s highest court, asking to be shifted to Central Jail, Srinagar in the state of Jammu and Kashmir.
“Yes, you heard that right,” said Lakhvi. “I want to get out of this place, but these guys wouldn’t let me out! Can you believe that? Can you believe what Pakistan has come to?” he added with an incredulous look.
“I mean, I don’t have much to complain about here in the jail; I’m living it up right now – taking bubble baths, meeting hot dudes, tweeting shit against India – but at the end of the day, there’s only so much you can do in a jail,” rued Lakhvi. “Then I read about Masarat bhai getting out of Srinagar, and I’m like, that’s where I need to be to get released!”
Chief Minister Mufti Mohammad Sayeed has said that in the event Pakistan does move Lakhvi to Srinagar and Indian agencies fail to charge him, he would issue orders for his immediate release. “No need to make a big issue out of it. People are released all the time,” Mehbooba Mufti said with a dismissive wave of his hand, asserting that this would merely be an extension of the “heal and touch policy” to end violence in J&K.
The BJP on its part has assured that should Lakhvi be moved to Srinagar and later happen to get released by Mufti, they’ll kick up a storm and flay the CM for releasing him without consulting them. “We are fresh from protesting their ill-advised move to release Masarat Alam, and therefore will protest even more strongly should Mufti repeat this misstep,” warned state BJP chief Jugal Kishore Sharma.
The UnReal Times wasn’t able to reach Prime Minister Narendra Modi for a comment on the developments, as he was out shopping for suits for his upcoming foreign tours.