It had all started on a pleasant note. Mamata Banerjee and her key aide, quiz-master Derek O’ Brien, were relaxing on the terrace of Derek’s bungalow in Kolkata on a balmy late winter evening a few days ago.
As dusk gave way to a clear star dotted night, Kolkata came alive, resplendent in the glow of her city lights. Mamata seemed to be in a relaxed mood, the pleasant breeze blowing in from across the Hughli doing much to lift her spirits.
“Ei ki, Derek?” she asked, languidly raising her hand to point towards a pattern in the sky. “Oh, that’s the Ursa Major, Didi. Also known as the Great Bear,” replied Derek. He liked these sessions with his boss which allowed him to show-off his general knowledge and play the quiz-master in turn. An invaluable opportunity to score brownie points.
“And what is that object there?” queried Mamata, pointing to a reddish heavenly body, distinct from the other stars.
Mugshot of Derek moments after Didi blasted him
“Oh that is Mars, Didi. Also known as the red planet. Its one of my favorite quiz questions,” answered Derek, as he helped himself to another fish-tikka, oblivious to maelstorm he had trigerred in his chief’s mind.
“What is the color once again, Derek?”
“Red. Because of Iron Oxide on its surface.”
“And what are people living on it called?”
“Well, Mars has no life on it, Didi. But if they were life-forms, they would be called Martians. Kena, Didi?”
Suddenly, Mamata let out a blood-curdling scream that made Derek’s eyes nearly pop out of his sockets, inducing at least a dozen mosquitoes hovering nearby to drop dead.
“You fool…..do you realize that Mars is a hotbed of Maoist activity, and full of Martia…Maotians,” she screamed, turning beetroot red with anger.
“S..S..sorry, Didi. Should’ve realized this myself,” mumbled a stunned Derek, who also knows when not to be a quiz-master in the presence of his boss.
“I want you to immediately move a resolution in Parliament demanding a ban on this Mars. I am sure it is a CPIM conspiracy to topple my government,” ordered an infuriated Didi,
“Er..Didi, Shouldn’t we wait for more proof to emerge before we raise this demand?” mumbled Derek, quivering with fear.
“Fool. Mars..Marx, Red planet, Maotians…How much more proof you need? Just do it,” screamed Didi and stormed out.