Apple CEO Tim Cook doesn’t sleep well of late. No, it’s not the threat of yet another Steve Jobs biopic that’s keeping him awake. Nor Baba Ramdev. Not even a new spate of super cheap pirated Chinese brands threatening to eat into Apple’s market share. All that Tim can deal with.
It’s the formidable new competitor on the horizon that’s making him toss and turn: the Amma phone, conceived, designed and launched by the one and only Amma. “So Amma has finally decided to enter the smartphone market as well. I have been dreading this moment for a long, long time,” a quivering Cook told The UnReal Times.
“Now how are we going to compete against Amma, man?” the Apple CEO continued to rant. “I’m told she’s twice as charismatic as Steve Jobs and four times as autocratic!! She squeezes every drop of creativity out of her AIADMK engineers, I’ve heard. And all their workers are so hardworking that even the manufacturing doesn’t have to be outsourced to China!!! I suppose our best bet is to wait for the Amma phone to come out and just rip off its design and features. I know, this sounds cheap and uncool but what to do. Gawd, I am sounding like a Samsung CEO. Our goose is cooked.”
Amma has acquired a fearsome reputation in the world of business for her ability to slave drive bureaucrats and party workers to launch competitive products and services. It’s even spawned a new academic discipline – Ammanomics – that is now being taught in Harvard. And so, her foray into the tech world with the Amma phone has not just Apple, but the likes of Google and Amazon worried too. Amazon is more worried actually. “Ammazon is the natural next step for Amma given the wide range of products coming out of the AIADMK assembly line,” a tense Bezos told The UnReal Times.
Amma has already sounded out Google CEO Sundar Pichai to quit Google and join AIADMK to lead the development of Amma phone’s operating system. And yes, the operating system will be called Ammadroid.