VK Singh gingerly reaches for the spot where the chip has been inserted (Image via topnews.in)
PM Modi may not have broken his silence on insensitive remarks by various BJP leaders and ministers, but he seems to have finally taken steps to stem the flow of dumb statements by members of his party and government. BJP ministers and leaders who attended an urgently convened top secret meeting at the Prime Minister’s Office this morning, came out with a small bandage on the back of their heads under which a specially designed microchip was surgically inserted on the medulla oblongata.
“This is the first major initiative under the Digital India campaign!” raved principal secretary, Nripendra Misra. “It really is revolutionary technology! Every time the person thinks of something stupid or dumb to say, the chip will activate certain nerves that will administer a minor electric shock to the person, thereby forcing him or her to shut up immediately. Simple and effective!”
According to sources, the chip has already been installed on most of the motor mouths in the party. “You’ll see fewer and fewer stupid statements from ministers and BJP party members in the days ahead,” added Misra.
When The Unreal Times tried to reach Union Minister V.K. Singh for his take on the PMO’s move, the retired general refused to comment. “Not today. I have a splitting headache,” he said to our correspondent, holding a hand against the back of his head.
Our correspondent then traveled to Sakshi Maharaj’s town to seek his opinion, but withdrew hastily when he found the BJP MP collapsed against the front door of his residence, convulsing violently and frothing from the mouth. Refusing to get discouraged, our correspondent tried reaching another BJP MP Mahesh Sharma over the phone, but was informed that the politician has been admitted to the ICU.
“What next?” our correspondent asked Misra after attempts to reach various other BJP motormouths resulted in failure.
“Next, we’ll install a chip in the heads of our journalists to administer a shock whenever they lie,” winked Misra.