(Image via thehindu.com)
7,RCR went into a tizzy yesterday after Prime Minister Modi was found unconscious in the early hours of the day. According to investigators who later reconstructed the turn of events, the Prime Minister, as is his habit, was leafing through the day’s newspapers in his study, when his eyes spotted the headline “Arvind Kejriwal praises PM Modi for resolving Latur water crisis” and grew wide as saucers. In utter disbelief, he checked the other newspapers and found similar headlines in all of them.
“Maa Jagadamba!” he exclaimed, slack-jawed. A second later, his eyes rolled back and he dropped to the floor.
Ramlal, the butler at the Prime Minister’s residence who first discovered the unconscious PM said, “Saheb likes to read the papers in the morning along with a cup of steaming wagh-bakri chai. When I went into his room with the chai, I found him lying prone on the floor. First I thought he was doing yoga, but when he didn’t get up after more than 5 minutes, I started to panic. Immediately I called the other staff and together we rushed him to the hospital.”
Doctors at AIIMS spent a frantic few moments trying everything to revive the PM in vain, until one of them had a bright idea. He pulled out his phone and played, one by one, news reports of Kejriwal’s assorted rants against Modi, at full volume. The ploy worked. First the PM’s little finger moved, then his toe wiggled, and when the phone played the one where Kejriwal calls him a coward and a psychopath, the PM stirred and his eyelids opened groggily.
“As tough as he is, even he can’t take a shock like this. To revive him, we had to give his brain a sense of normalcy, which is why we did what we did,” said one of the doctors who attended to the PM.
Meanwhile, Delhi CM Arvind Kejriwal seems befuddled by the turn of events. “All these days, I badmouthed him so much, I gave him so many gaalis, but he didn’t even flinch. One sentence of praise and he collapses like a sack of potatoes! Yehi to scam hai ji!” he murmured.
Later in the day, AAP volunteers were seen in various parts of the city, erecting massive banners with words of fulsome praise for the Prime Minister. “Pradhan mantri ji, aap achha kaam kar rahe ho! [PM, you are doing a good job] Regards, Arvind Kejriwal” read one of them.