Even as Pope Francis proclaimed Mother Teresa a saint for living a life of holiness and performing two miracles – which are incidentally the conditions required for someone to be canonized – an aide walked up to His Holiness and brought his attention to a far bigger miracle – Delhi CM Arvind Kejriwal had spent an entire day without abusing PM Narendra Modi.
The Pope was so shocked that his eyes popped out of their sockets and he had to hold on to the railing lining the Vatican balcony for support. Moments later, when he regained his composure, he turned to the aide and exclaimed, “Well then, what are we waiting for? Let’s declare him a Saint right away. It’s a no-brainer!”
According to sources in the Vatican, Kejriwal’s miracle is so miraculous that they have decided to ignore certain pre-requisites; for example, two separate miracles are required as against one, and the miracles have to be posthumous. “Everyone knows that Kejriwal is the most honest person on earth. He has lived a life of utter holiness. Anyone who has seen his video messages on Aam Aadmi Party’s Facebook page can attest to that. And now he has performed this jaw-dropping miracle, which, let’s be honest, is far more astonishing than Mother Teresa’s miracles,” said a spokesperson for the Vatican.
“I still can’t believe it,” murmured the awestruck Pope, as his attendants gently led him away to his resting chamber.
Needless to say, the development has come as a shot in the arm for Aam Aadmi Party supporters, who descended on Twitter en masse to gloat. Bhakts, for once, had no answer, as, heart of heart, they too believed that it was indeed a miracle.
AAP leaders, meanwhile, wasted no time in booking business class tickets to Rome to participate in the ceremony that would turn Kejriwal from an aam aadmi into a Saint. “This is a great honour for India and particularly for the people of Delhi whose tax money we are using to book these trips,” exclaimed a delighted AAP leader.
The last word, as always, went to The Ashutosh. The journalist turned idiot politician pulled out his smartphone at the airport and posted this quick tweet before he boarded his flight: “Going to the Rome to watch the Kejariwal being caramelized by the Poap. Will the Modi answer?”