Image via Indiatoday.com
Desperate times call for desperate measures. No, conferring Test status on Papua New Guinea and touring it for a full fledged series won’t do. The boys now say they are not confident of beating Papua New Guinea either, considering it’s situated quite close to Australia. In the wake of India getting routed in under three days for the second time in succession to slump to its third worst defeat ever, the BCCI has proposed to do away with the 5 day format all together and replace it with 3 day Tests instead. “At least, that way the boys won’t be blamed for losing with two days to spare. And spectators, though disappointed that the boys lost, won’t feel cheated that they had to pay for 5 days’ fare. That could be the first of many baby steps towards rebuilding team morale,” a top BCCI official said.
“We should also do away with these 5 Test series and do short and sweet one off 3 day Tests whenever India tours England, South Africa or Australia,” the BCCI official noted. “Anyway only Indians watch Test matches being played anywhere in the world and right now I don’t think they are any more interested in watching India play these pointless 5 Test series abroad anymore. This will also give us more flexibility in planning the team’s international calendar around the IPL.” When a scribe dared to ask whether the IPL itself should be revamped to save Indian cricket, the BCCI official lost his temper and yelled back, “Don’t even go there.”
Other baby steps to rebuild morale include bringing back Dada, VVS, SRT and Dravid. “Had a chat with them and they say that although they are getting on in years, they can do slightly better than the current top order,” the BCCI official disclosed. “Ravi Shastri also said he can lend some balance to the team and take a break from clichéd commentary. So let’s see, at least we have back up plans going forward.”
In related news, the beleaguered Indian skipper got a heads-up from Dr Manmohan Singh amidst calls for the former’s resignation. “Only MS should decide when he wants to resign,” MMS said and disagreed with the prevailing view that this team’s tour had been disastrous. “History will judge the team better,” Dr Singh gently pointed out.