Image via indiatoday.com
Arvind Kejriwal’s string of accusations and exposes may have left his targets fuming but have elicited high praise and admiration from premier intelligence agencies such as CIA and Mossad.
“Brilliant! Kejriwal is simply brilliant,” raved CIA director John O Breenan. “From keeping tabs on finances to unraveling the enemy’s sinister designs, Kejri sir is always a step ahead.”
“I became a Kejriwal fanboy after the master identified the Delhi Lt Governor as a BJP agent in addition to being an Ambani agent,” gushed Mossad’s Tamir Pardo. “We have been in this game for decades and let me tell you it’s no easy feat to unearth double agents.”
“For all the resources, sophisticated surveillance technology and money at the CIA’s disposal, my boys can never generate such humongous volumes of intelligence at pin point accuracy,” an awestruck Breenan admitted, pointing to a set of Kejriwal’s tweets that now find pride of place as huge cut outs on the wall in the CIA director’s office in Langley next to the President’s portrait:
BJP source -top BJP leader has directed all Delhi BJP MLAs to get at least 5000 fake votes made in each const n get AAP votes deleted (1/3)
— Arvind Kejriwal (@ArvindKejriwal) October 25, 2014
Bribe rate-Rs 1500 for new fake vote,Rs 200 to get any vote deleted.This info given by someone who did this job for BJP last week (2/3)
— Arvind Kejriwal (@ArvindKejriwal) October 25, 2014
We are meeting EC officials on Mon at 11 am and making a formal complaint(3/3)
— Arvind Kejriwal (@ArvindKejriwal) October 25, 2014
The tipping point came when Kejriwal even outed the BJP’s Delhi CM candidate for the upcoming polls, something which even the BJP was not aware of. “That’s when I decided that CIA officers needed to get trained by AAP. I am told AAP volunteers possess a sixth sense in spotting Ambani agents. I’m sure a stint as volunteers with AAP will help CIA officers get better at identifying al-Qaeda agents,” Breenan revealed.
Accordingly, CIA officers have begun giving missed calls to the fledgling anti-corruption party to enrol as primary members. “The next step is to embed them with other AAP volunteers and fan out into various mohalla sabhas, wielding brooms and sporting AAP topis, which I am told are essential tools in an AAP agent’s intelligence gathering kit,” Breenan said.