Leaded or unleaded? That’s the question (Image via intoday.in)
Nestle’s PR problems don’t look like ending anytime soon. Just when the company was trying to come to terms with laboratory tests by Delhi government that found high quantities of lead in several packets of Maggi, a new PR disaster has unfolded in a lavatory of a college hostel. Bhashkor Yadav, a 4th year student studying Political Science in Delhi’s Jawaharlal Nehru University ejected a lump of lead during his morning duties on Monday.
“Initially I thought he’d dropped a coin or something,” said Bhashkor’s friend Dhiman Gupta who was shaving at the washbasin nearby. “Then he stumbled out, told me what happened and collapsed from exhaustion. We immediately rushed him to the doctor.”
Bhaskor is currently been kept under observation at the Ram Manohar Lohia hospital. “We are still running tests, but prima facie it looks like Bhashkor’s digestion system accumulated the lead particles from all that Maggi he’d consumed in his four years on campus, and spat it out in one shot,” said Dr. Patel.
Nestle, however, has strongly refuted such suggestions. “This is ridiculous. We have extensively tested Maggi in our laboratories; we’ve had over 1000 people eat Maggi day in and day out and nobody shat lead. This kid probably just swallowed a bullet or something,” said David Leadly, spokesperson for Nestle.
In related news, a survey revealed that malnutrition in Indian colleges has gone up by a whopping 70% ever since universities across the country stopped stocking Maggi. “This is a horrible situation,” said Rajesh Singh, dean of BITS Pilani. “Students are looking withered and lifeless, shuffling around the campus like zombies. If the government doesn’t do something soon about this Maggi situation, we may have to do the unthinkable. We may have to ask the messes to step up the quality of their food!”
Predictably, the opposition has trained its guns on the Modi government. “Earlier just Gujarat suffered from rampant malnutrition. Now it looks the entire country is on its way to suffering from malnutrition starting with our college kids. Is this what Modi meant when he said he’ll replicate the Gujarat model at the center?” said Digvijay Singh.